• On Their Way …

June 2, 2008 § Leave a comment

> The Kick Ass Week wherein we tie a balloon to the mailbox in SoHo as the universal sign for PARTY OVER HERE, almost the “Good-Bye SoHo” party as I’m on my way to Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

> I’ve owned a few pieces of tech that I’m feeling ready to review (headphones, laptop).

> Review of the amazing McSweeney’s #27.

> I’m about half-way through Grand Theft Auto IV and think I’ll soon be able to issue words.

and finally, tomorrow …

> The end of HRC 2008. The end of my attitude towards it and her. It would be worthless to continue that campaign when we’ve already got the Incredible Crash Dummy himself McCain on the way.

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• Meanwhile, Fathers For Drunk Driving Supports GTA IV, P.B.R.

May 1, 2008 § Leave a comment

You’d have thought that by this point that M.A.D.D. would have become P.A.D.D. by now. I’m not sure what’s stopping that from happening other than guys poker night falling on protest night and an amazingly stupid acronym.

• Fantasy: The Other Reality

April 28, 2008 § 2 Comments

Dubya is your stoner uncle who’s angry at his dad for making him work with Walker Bush’s cohorts. He’s as willing to pardon stoners as he’s willing to pardon turkeys on Thanksgiving.

New York City is Liberty City: where you can drive anywhere you want, take your frustrations out on anything, and instantaneously transport yourself to an even more fantastical world where everybody’s as bloodthirsty as you are.

Rich millionaire alcoholics who built their empires on war can have moments of truth when they realize they can be robotic genius liberators (No Dubya) by night. Your buddy is Terrence Howard and your Secretary is Gwenyth Paltrow.

War is actually just a game, and the concept of soldiers being mentally manipulated translates to a scientific device, not the death of mass media. And it’s being beta tested to get the bugs out instead of becoming a quagmire.

This current stretch of time is geeky as all get the fuck out.

Mom Talks To Video Game Character, Learns Drugs are Bad.

January 13, 2008 § Leave a comment

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Not because she’s high and talking to a video game, though.

“You should tell him, in real life, drugs are nothing but trouble.”

Worst Game/Greatest YouTube Video… ever?

December 26, 2007 § 1 Comment

This is my present to you guys, something I think many of us can be glad to say we never had to experience.

Blue Man Group was the first time I’d heard the phrase “Mind Fuck,” and this is the most recent applicable moment.

Can you remember playing Super Mario Bros. as a kid? The unparalleled experience that it was? Now imagine that some giant asswad is behind the curtains just fucking with you. This is what you get.

One Sad Baddie

December 17, 2007 § Leave a comment

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©~Deannna629 at DeviantArt

Last night, with a little over 100 stars in hand, I beat the main adventure of Super Mario Galaxy. And sadly, and almost expectedly, the final level itself, “The Final Showdown: Bowser’s Galaxy Reactor,” was much more trouble than Bowser himself.

I just got home from the company Secret Satan drinks, so I’ve got not much time to get my daily post out of the way. This is what I think about, how I feel bad for a fictional final boss who belongs to a fictional species. Have you ever felt bad for Bowser or any of his pixelated ilk?

He’s the Wile E. Coyote of video games, eventually that kind of career is just sad.

WHAT THE FUCK!

December 11, 2007 § 7 Comments

seth and jules
Imagine His Head Falls Smack Dab onto Her Right Eye

I couldn’t find a good image of the scene in the Superbad that I describe above, but that post title, what Jules yells after Seth gives her what we later find out is a black eye, (Sarcastic after the fact of the matter spoiler alert for those who never even saw the trailer.), is what kept coming back to me as I checked around the blog world (and my work email box) today.

The sources of WTFery:

The RIAA claims that it’s illegal for people to rip CD’s into MP3 files. Guys, you’re a little fucking late to be taken seriously on that one.

Can someone tell me why Led Zepplin’s reunion, or the LZ as I’ll refer to them, is important at all? Readers, please enlighten me to the importance of these guys who played pee wee touch football with the Cryptkeeper.


That’s a fucking video game.

Finally, Jessica Simpson, so dumb, or smart?, thinks that a role with full frontal will get her the respect she figures she deserves. On the same website, look out for Kristin Bell in the Leia outfit.

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