• Dear Matt Taibbi, What Have You Made Me Do?

July 23, 2008 § Leave a comment

I went my whole life without owning a magazine with The Jonas Brothers on the cover.

This wasn’t a big deal until the last calendar year, when these kids – who by the way I have no clue who they are, what I know is that they make stacks and stacks of money, one of them has some fake Waiting For Marriage bullshit going on with Hannah Montana and one of my cousins has paid to see them in concert – became the next coming of Hanson. Which wouldn’t be the worst thing ever except that they’re of the Disney Channel DNA which requires you to be bad at both singing and acting.

The thing about them making bank, you know how they sell records? They market themselves to kids too young and too stupid and too shit scared to try and steal music. Kids whose parents will buy their love with really fucking expensive movie tickets. This is why I think the children are not the future. These kids are tone deaf and retarded and will not pass the Survival of the Fittest test.

But back to the title of this piece. This is the second post I’ve had with these snots in it, and now, I have a plan to retain my dignity. I buy Rolling Stone for the politics articles by Matt Taibbi, and I’m just going to have to, well look above, and think that one used to cover the other, tear the damn cover off the magazine and leave it in the trash to be disposed. I could just, you know, not buy the magazine, but RS doesn’t put Taibbi’s brilliance online.

Oh, wait. They do, now.

Crap. They didn’t post his article when I’d checked this morning.

At least I got the Pineapple Express feature.

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