• “I’m Going On” … To Cover Everything I Havn’t Talked About Since I’ve Been Gone – Part 1: The Election

April 7, 2008 § Leave a comment


Obama:Austin Powers::McCain:Dr. Evil::Hillary Clinton:Dr. Evil’s Hairless Cat Mr. Bigglesworth

In the time since I’ve posted seriously, I’ve left the apartment on Leonard Street. I’m temporarily in residence with my parents, in SoHo. Temporarily being the important word, underline that shit thrice, as I’m barely unpacking anything.

“Going On” by the Gnarls guys has to have been my theme song over the last few weeks. The grandiose momentum behind the song, that feeling of pushing yourself beyond the bullshit and those who heap it upon you. I took ‘smart moves’ off of my Interests list on der facebook, but let me tell you, I’m still all about those smart moves. To choose peace over distraction, cooking my own meals for a week upstate rather than be at work when I was at a moment of over-saturation, and to choose a 30 minute walk to work over the Trains-To-Dachau experience that is the 8:30AM L train from Williamsburg: these are decisions I can support.

Speaking of things I can support, let me be frank. I will vote for anybody whose name isn’t John McCain, if I can’t vote for Barack Obama (who, let me remind you, is the mathematical deadlock for the nomination, but try telling that to Hillary). Anyone but McCain, I say: Droopy Dog, Ralph Wiggum, Beavis and/or Butthead (but didn’t we just elect them?) and I’d even vote for Gaius Frakking Baltar before I’d vote for McCain.

If I have to I am going to vote for Hillary Clinton. Yes, I’m not one of those “My candidate or McCain dems.” As much as I’ve despised her during the last few months of primaries, she’s better than McCain. By more than just a dash of good and a sprinkle of sanity, but she’s not perfect. I’ve talked about this before, but I can’t stop harping on this one moment because I kind of don’t believe it happened.

The 3 a.m. Phone Call commercial that scares me into thinking that Hillary is just as creepy as your average Dubya Admin. suit. Not that she’s got the intellect of a town of lego-people and would be led by Cheney and the rest into the single biggest fuckup I’ve seen America conduct in my life (not to mention the single best reason to start using the word ‘boondoggle’ again), but it’s this whole win-at-any-costs even if it fucks up the Democratic Party’s 08 chances thing. It’s not that Obama supporters want Hillary to stop because she doesn’t deserve to win or something. It’s that Hillary is running with a campaign that has lost it’s last ounce of credibility. It’s also that she’s incredibly PAINFUL TO WATCH. Take this video for evidence:


No sense of humor at all, and yes, that’s almost a category I find important.

I’ll vote for her because John McCain is incredibly problematic, and for the across-the-board everybody should be able to understand this, I offer you this: McCain says Roe v. Wade should be overturned. He is a douchebag the likes of which I don’t think we’ve honestly had in a single seat in the oval office in years. It’s like Cheney’s level of competence in the Bush’s chair.

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