5 easy rules for losing my respect without even talking to me.

June 27, 2007 § Leave a comment

Remember, these are rules for total strangers. If I know you, these rules really do not apply.

1. Be seen reading the NY Post or NY Daily News. Get a brain.

2. Be a loud douchebag teenager on the subway.

3. Lose the game by walking a guy in.

4. Claim to not be a part of the Executive Branch, when in fact, you’re the Vice President.

5. Be Isaiah Washington.

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On notice

June 27, 2007 § Leave a comment

The Yankees Franchise’s inability to have a good bullpen.

My landlord.

The Ricoh printers at my office.

• Adam Sandler is just another republican douche-bag.

June 26, 2007 § 18 Comments

http://www.newsmeat.com/celebrity_political_donations/Adam_Sandler.php

Except that, according to an over-the-shoulder shot from the trailer to his new homo-phobic and homo-ignorant comedy “I Now Pronounce My Career Dead & Uninspired”, he’s possibly been allowed to feel both of Jessica Biel’s chesticles (© “Knocked Up”). Sandler, consider these the last straws.

I first heard the news that Sandler’s a republican in a recent issue of Entertainment Weekly, and then, it wasn’t really the biggest shock. The fact that he supports the biggest asshole out of New York, that was kind of disappointing. Sandler couldn’t throw his mook money into the Romney campaign in some show of support of polygamy (think sequel: “I Now Pronounce You Chuck, Larry, and Some Chick, You Know, We’re Bi, that’s cool, right? Not All-The-Way-Gay, right?”).

Ask Ask Paul McCartney

June 22, 2007 § 2 Comments

Back in high school, someone told me that I’m going to be writing for Entertainment Weekly when I grow up.

Their new EW Hot 100 list of stars and stuff they love is completely absurd in that there is nothing on it that earned a cultural elitist snide knee-jerk reaction from me.

As for the headline, I used to not give a damn about any of the Beatles, minus John Lennon for standing for something, but ever since The Music Video Of The Year dropped, Sir Paul is getting daps from me on mention alone.

I’m a psychic.

June 17, 2007 § Leave a comment

In other news:

There should be a test that prospective parents should have to pass in order to have children.

Logistics are far fetched and forthcoming.

said as stealing the recent Bone Thugs album

June 17, 2007 § 1 Comment

“She’s the kind of hot girl where you’re at a party and you wouldn’t have thought about her except that all the other girls there are all ready defined as crazy/out of the question. That is, not to say she’s unattractive, far from it, but she’s not quite the standard object of affection.”

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